Let me tell you how my Slavia‑supporting friend Zdenda surprised me. A few months ago, he sent me a link to a completely unique event. It’s a three‑day punk extravaganza on a massive ship sailing across the Baltic from Stockholm to Tallinn and back. Part of the trip includes several hours of partying after docking in Tallinn, at a local club called Paavli Kultuurivabrik. The event is called Close‑Up Punk Båten, and it’s 40 hours of punk, alcohol, and concerts at sea.
I had never heard of this event, even though—as I later found out—it has been held annually for several years. Probably because it’s advertised only in Swedish. And now imagine a Slavia fan stumbling upon something like this. Like a chimp tripping over a half‑kilo gold nugget. Luckily, Zdenda didn’t keep his discovery to himself, and things started moving quickly. Karlos joined us right away.
After boarding and settling into our cabin on the 212‑meter‑long Baltic Queen, we immediately inspected the alcohol situation. The ship has several bars, restaurants, and even a disco spread across nine decks, all serving beer. It’s not exactly cheap, so the onboard supermarket is a good alternative. You can buy cans and even bottled Pilsner Urquell there (sadly not chilled) for much better prices. The only chilled drink available is Red Bull, so we decided to combine it with Finnish vodka.
The ship left the Stockholm terminal on Friday at 17:30, with arrival in Tallinn scheduled for 11:30 the next day. The first evening we mainly enjoyed a concert by the legendary Perkele. We also went for a buffet dinner. For €50 you can eat as much as you want. Since we had already downed a litre of vodka along with several beers, I only remember shrimp, mussels, and caviar—of which I ate about half a kilo.
The next morning we disembarked in Tallinn. It’s a calm, tidy, and clean city with many modern residential buildings and a beautiful historic centre that slightly resembles old Prague. One notable sight was the Russian embassy building we passed on our way to the centre, surrounded by mobile fencing covered with banners and photos of ruSSian war crimes committed in Ukraine.
We happened to catch fantastic weather—blue skies and a pleasant 20 degrees—so we found a spot on a sunny terrace. Tallinn is roughly the size of Brno, but the prices are like central London. After lunch we headed to the concert at Paavli Kultuurivabrik, where hundreds of people from the ship were already gathered, bands were playing, and beer was flowing despite the price (€8 for 0.4 l in a plastic cup).
In the evening we set sail back toward Stockholm. Another visit to the supermarket, more Red Bulls and vodka, after which the boys passed out, so I went to see Discharge on my own. This crew from Stoke‑on‑Trent unleashed their thunderous D‑Beat like a wild storm on the otherwise calm Baltic. Frontman JJ was, as always, phenomenal.
The next morning we returned to Stockholm, where we had a hotel booked for the night. We spent the whole day resting and walking around the city, especially the historic Gamla Stan district. Along the way we discovered how strict Sweden’s anti‑smoking laws are. Smoking is banned in all pubs and cafés, even on outdoor terraces. The ban also applies at public transport stops and building entrances. Finding a legal place to smoke can be quite a challenge. The country set a clear goal years ago to eliminate smoking completely, and today it has the lowest number of smokers in Europe (around 5% of the adult population), and the number keeps falling. In the UK it’s 10%, and in the Czech Republic 24%.
The trip was wild, intense, and although not the cheapest, absolutely unforgettable.
PS: Zdenda the Chimp, you’re our furry explorer and we owe you at least two bunches of bananas for this adventure. Thanks!
The Rulers of Vršovice from Ďolíček.